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by Sr. Carolyn Miguel, OSB

For more information:

Sr. Teresa Jackson, OSB
Spirituality Outreach Ministry
Monastery of St. Gertrude
465 Keuterville Road
Cottonwood, ID 83522-5183
(208) 962-3224
FAX: (208) 962-7212
e-mail: outreachretreats@hotmail.com

"Our soul is so specially loved by him who is the highest that it goes far beyond the ability of any creature to realize it. That is to say there is no creature made who can realize how much, how sweetly and how tenderly our maker loves us. And therefore we may, with his grace and his help, stand in spirit, gazing with endless wonder at this lofty, unmeasurable love beyond human scope that almighty God has for us of his goodness. And therefore we may ask our lover, with reverence, all that we will.

Our natural will is to have God, and the good will of God is to have us, and we may never cease willing or longing for him until we have him in the fullness of joy, and then we shall will no longer. For he wills that we be occupied in knowing and loving until the time we shall find fulfillment in heaven." chap. 6

Unlike Julian’s culture we live in a world that tends to stress God’s love for us, but often it is still difficult to comprehend or take in. It can be easy to take God’s love for granted, but it is often hard to realize the depths of Gods love for us or realize our longing for God the way Julian expresses it. "...there is no creature made who can realize how much, how sweetly and how tenderly our maker loves us’.

One of the great gifts that Julian gives us is her expression of what it means to long for God, to desire God, that this is part of being human, to want to feel closer to our creator. ‘Our natural will is to have God, and the good will of God is to have us, and we may never cease willing or longing for Him until we have Him in the fullness of joy, and then we shall will no longer.’

In her writings Julian emphasizes again and again how loving and forgiving God is. Hers was an era that continually stressed the price of sin and the horrors of hell and judgment, but she provides a very different picture. In contrast to the predominant picture of God as the angry and wrathful judge, she presents an image of Jesus who is always present to us, always loving us even in our sin.

"Then our courteous Lord shows himself to our soul most merrily and with a glad expression. With a friendly welcome, as if the soul had been in pain and imprisoned, he says sweetly ‘my darling, I am glad you have come to me. In all this misery I have ever been with you. Now you see my loving and we are one in bliss." ch. 40

Many of us want this deep relationship but we may feel ambivalent, we want to love God more deeply, but we don’t quite trust that God will be there. We may want to grow in relationship but we aren’t sure how to do it. We may find that we try to pray but it just feels dry, we don’t have any strong feelings. We may have never thought about it.

But Julian gives us a picture, an image of Jesus just waiting for us, ready to welcome us. We can use these images to meditate on, to reflect on, they can gradually break down the barriers we often have to a deeper relationship with God.

Exercise: 

You may want to spend some time doing "lectio divina" with the writings of Julian quoted in this day. Lectio divina means "divine reading" and is an ancient way of praying with Scripture and other texts.

- First: Pick one of the quotations from today's section and read it over slowly to yourself until a word or phrase strikes you.

- Second: Take that word or phrase and spend some time with it. Slowly repeat it several times, let it speak to you. Where does this word or phrase lead you? What is it saying to you?

- Third: Spend some time meditating on the message of the word or phrase that you chose (or that chose you!). What is its message for you?

- Fourth: Let the message of your word or phrase become a prayer, lift it up to God and express what is in your heart.

- Repeat this process with another passage.